You have nothing to fear if you have nothing to hide. You have nothing to hide if you have nothing to fear.
So fear nothing and you need not hide. Hide nothing and you need not fear.

The motto of the Department of Homeland Decency

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

The Birther Manifesto

We the undersigned real red blooded Americans so love our country that we will refuse to pay taxes until it's more to our liking, which means more like it was and was always meant to be. Some of us were lucky enough to have lived in it then but some of us are too young and only hear the great stories of those times, when men worked hard and drank beer made in America and women stayed home and America was for Americans and white wine wasn't invented. We want that back.

But if our simple protest doesn't change things, we will hold our breath until patriot reporters from Fox News come over to us and ask us important questions about these important issues.

We are few in number, but many in importance. That is our strength and why we will win these battles. We wish for a return to the common sense of the US Constitution, which keeps government out of our homes and lets us keep our own money unless we choose to give it to our church instead of an abortionist, which is what made our country great. For over 200 years this common sense was heralded to the world as the best way to live. But then, amendments were made that went against common sense, so we also support unamending those, only once the birth issue is settled, in our favor, for all time.

And while we haven't yet decided on what we will work to unamend, we will look at those issues which took us from our greatness, which was about 60 or 70 years ago. Included unamendments will be the vote for certain people, taxes that don't pay for defense, any gun limits and the rights of atheists, which is an abomination and is nowhere mentioned in the US Constitution.

In addition, we will prove that Hawaii is not a state but actually an island. While we enjoy Hawaii as much as anyone else, those of us who have been blessed with common sense know that there is a big difference between a state and an island. This has not reported in the liberal treasonous media, where it is reported that islands have always been states, for instance Rhode Island. But a close look at a map shows us that Rhode Island is not an island, although part of it is. It is also connected to the rest of the country by land, which Hawaii isn't.

Then we will prove once and for all that the president's birth certificate is a phony. This will prove to everyone the rightness of our quest and the basic treasonability of he who has duped everyone into believing he can be president when we need someone who does not have a name that sounds like our enemies.

So we now call on Americans everywhere to wake up and take back the country that is the greatest of all time. Only in America can anyone grow up to be president, even ones who lie and cheat to become president, but that is only temporary because we are on the case.

In addition, we also believe we should also explore the so-called theories that the world is round. Many of us have pointed out that from where we sit it is not round at all but very flat. But these pointy-headed atheist college professors who we pay with our taxes but not for much longer say it's not flat.

We ask this: who died and left them in charge?

Oh, and that thing about men walking on the moon 40 years ago? Yeah, right. We weren't born yesterday.

Were you? Join us!

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